


it's loud in his head

by TwixyTrixie



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Confessions, Happy Ending, M/M, Mental Instability, Nazuna feeling like he's losing himself, Nazuna slowly growing more unstable about being Shu's marionette, Strangulation, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29664264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwixyTrixie/pseuds/TwixyTrixie
Summary: He was really becoming a doll.Something with no thoughts of its own, a doll that would be guided by its owner to do anything they wanted. A puppet pretty much - that truly was all Nazuna was.//I originally wanted to write smut but I started to word vomit and here this is? Nazuna slowing losing himself. He chokes Shu later and then they kiss.
Relationships: Itsuki Shuu/Nito Nazuna
Kudos: 8





	it's loud in his head

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to make smut but this came out instead lol. Anyway I'll try to write smut cause I want Nazuna making Shu cry like a bitch.

Nazuna knew the other first year was somewhat of an eccentric person but he accepted the boy’s proposal to form a unit together. It had taken them awhile to figure out how to name their unit but when Nazuna recalled the way Shu Itsuki jumped out of the window and seemingly floated down towards him with sparkling drapes of fabric… well, there was no other way to describe the sight as mythical. 

After looking through so many ancient myth books from cultures around the world, the two of them had agreed that  _ Valkyrie _ had the grace and tone of how they wanted to appear. Actually, the way that Shu wanted to appear - Nazuna had followed along the other’s lead, accepting any sort of style and desires the pink-haired artist had strove for. The blond had entered the school because he was good at singing and enjoyed it, but never did he think he’d be roped into something as  _ toxic _ as this. 

Shu was a perfectionist - always sewing every stitch of their outfits with the utmost care and precision. The choreo that he made up was calculated by every half-step and down to the decimal. Then there were the lyrics that strung everything together to create a performance that Shu would call his masterpiece. Nazuna never understood what possessed Shu to want everything so perfect but he didn’t want to be cast aside by the boy who saw potential in him. To Nazuna he was willing to work as much as he could to be as perfect as Shu wanted… at least that’s how he felt at first.    
  
Nazuna  _ was _ nearly perfect, a living doll that could be arranged and made to do anything Shu had wanted. If Shu told him to change his steps and contort his body a different way then Nazuna was able to do it. Shu had taken over Nazuna’s entire life, making a strict diet plan for him and a schedule for practice even when they were apart as well as routine calls for vocal practice. Everything Nazuna did was now for Valkyrie and even if he agreed to it and strove to be Shu’s perfect doll, slowly and surely it began to chip away at the boy’s sanity.    
  
It had gotten to the point where Nazuna never talked anymore, preserving his voice for when he needed to sing. It was a voluntary choice on his part, but it also was to protect himself from saying something foul. He always wanted to disagree with Shu, to say maybe they should try this and that or that he wanted to eat something sweet and yummy like ice cream, but how could you argue against the person who renowned you as their entire world? Yes, Nazuna was Shu’s most precious doll. The smaller boy was always praised and cherished, Shu’s eyes shone bright when he saw Nazuna and he was never afraid to vocalize his love for Nazuna. 

Saying such things had embarrassed Nazuna, but slowly but surely he felt endeared and valued. It made Nazuna’s heart pull and tug at what he wanted; did he want Shu to treat him like an equal and not a doll? Or did he want to be showered with praise and made indispensable? It grew more and more difficult for Nazuna to decide, becoming stuck in his own mind than reality. 

His dreams were filled with cogs and steam, with golden strings that wrung around his neck and limbs. Nazuna would always be pulled and stretched and while it was only a sleepy illusion the pain felt as real as could be. The boy would wake up in a cold sweat, grasping at his neck only to find his rabbit staring at him in concern from his pen. 

Nazuna never voiced these dreams, even if Shu always asked him why his eyes looked sunken and tired. It would lead to lecturing and how it was the utmost importance for Nazuna to tend to his appearance - he was a beautiful idol after all! There shouldn’t be any sort of flaws on Nazuna, otherwise the audience would see him as just another peer. They were not the same as others in the crowd, as idols they were above the standard man and stood as gods - there could be no imperfections! 

Shu had convinced Nazuna to sleep over at his apartment which he occupied alone. The other had moved from far away in order to attend Yumenosaki while Nazuna had lived close enough to take the train to school. Nazuna wasn’t forced to sleep over, but Shu had explained it would be better if Nazuna was properly watched over to fix his sleeping schedule and to be micromanaged by Valkyrie’s eccentric leader. Since Nazuna still had the desire to appease Shu, he agreed and began staying at Shu’s apartment. 

Despite Shu’s behavior and the way he always wanted to embrace and touch Nazuna, he was extremely respectful to give Nazuna proper space in his apartment. The boy was given a guest room to sleep in with his own bed and anything Nazuna needed Shu would get almost immediately for him. Nazuna was a bit surprised at how accommodating Shu was but that never stopped the nightmares and the way being in Valkyrie began chipping away at his soul. 

Only later did Shu become a bit braver, being the one to undress and dress Nazuna in his uniform and casual clothes while marveling at how perfect and beautiful he was. Nazuna never once said anything when it happened.    
  
There was a room that Shu called his studio - and Nazuna found it to be bigger than what it appeared to be. It truly was like a studio with multiple hangers for fabric as well as numerous body mannequins of different sizes. There were two that always stood side by side that wore whatever Shu was working on currently, but the clothes didn’t hide the embroidered names that said “Itsuki Shu” and “Nito Nazuna.” 

When Shu had shown Nazuna the dress forms for the first time Shu had excitedly announced he wouldn’t be needing to use the mannequin meant for Nazuna because the boy was here in the flesh. Shu could work and tailor with Nazuna as his live model to make sure the clothes were more than perfect. 

The routine fell into a pattern that dragged Nazuna along, the boy never voicing any opinion whether it was negative or positive. 

Wake up. Practice. School. Practice. Go home with Shu. Practice. Dress up. Dinner. Practice. Sleep. 

Again and again Nazuna had gone through the cycles with Shu who always hovered over him, keeping the boy in an orderly march never to stray from the path he created for his precious doll. Maybe if Nazuna had spoken up then the cycle wouldn’t have been so rigorous that chipped away at his sanity, but Nazuna never once spoke out of line or voiced any concerns. He harbored the feelings deep within him, the fear of upsetting the boy who saw greatness in him. 

The nightmares never stopped by Nazuna knew how to be quiet and not disrupt Shu. He always forced himself to go back into the nightmares and ride off the rest of the pain until he was woken bright and early by Shu who was happy to get him dressed for school. 

The cycle kept going on, the only change would be if Nazuna had to go home for something family-related or if they had lives to perform. Sometimes they would appear on television but Nazuna never said anything, letting Shu take the reigns. Even if he was asked questions, all of his answers were already prepared with specific answers. As Valkyrie’s popularity continued to rise Nazuna had felt his oneness slowly fade away. 

He was really becoming a doll. 

Something with no thoughts of its own, a doll that would be guided by its owner to do anything they wanted. A puppet pretty much - that truly was all Nazuna was. 

Nazuna’s red eyes had shot open in the middle of the night which wasn’t anything uncommon for the blond. The nightmares were always lingering, the painful feeling of his body contorted and being pulled apart from each other still haunted his body. It had shivered away but Nazuna couldn’t stop from thinking of the way Shu’s face looked at him as he held onto his golden strings, pulling and tugging on Nazuna’s limbs. 

Getting out of bed, Nazuna crept slowly out of his room to go to the fridge to get some water, but stopped in the middle of the hallway. There was a thud Nazuna heard, startling the boy as he turned around to see if he accidentally knocked something over in his room. When there was nothing that seemed out of place in his room, Nazuna turned back as more thuds were heard, sounding almost like someone was walking loudly. 

Looking towards the studio room, Nazuna assumed maybe Shu was working on something late at night. Despite always telling Nazuna to sleep properly, Shu sometimes disregarded his own advice in the pursuit of chasing the vision he had for a new outfit and whatnot. Nazuna sighed softly, heading into the room to see what Shu was doing at this late hour. 

When he entered the studio, Nazuna was surprised to find no one inside. Nothing had fallen from the fabric racks, oh but there was a spindle of gold ribbon that had fallen near the mannequins. 

Nazuna walked towards it, picking it up before rubbing the fabric with his thumb. Even the smallest of details were extraordinary, the quality of the ribbon being quite tasteful and no doubt expensive. 

“It’s lovely isn’t it?” A voice said, Nazuna’s eyes shooting up to see the mannequin - his mannequin - staring at him. Wait… staring? 

On the rod stood Nazuna himself wearing the Valkyrie uniform, smiling down at him as he stood still like a doll placed on its shelf. 

“Oshisan always chooses the most beautiful ribbons… that ones our favorite isn’t it?” The mannequin offered another smile, Nazuna nearly dropping the spindle before shaking in fear. 

“Y-You’re-” He stuttered out. 

“You? Me? I guess so. Except I’m waiting for you to take my place.” The doll grinned, his red eyes nearly glowing in the darkness of the room. Nazuna’s brows only furrowed in response, rubbing his eyes with his sleeve to see if he was just imagining things. There’s no way any of this was real right? 

“I’m still here you know? Geez… don’t ignore me. It’s no fair that I’m the one stuck here when you’re the one who never talks and does anything Oshisan says.” The mannequin said again, its limbs starting to move. It sounded like each limb was popping and cracking out of its stationary pose, Nazuna’s eyes widening as he started to back away seeing the mannequin get off the rod and walk towards him.    
  
The mannequin’s face smiled - Nazuna wondered when was the last time he smiled like that - before lunging at the boy, fabric hands going straight towards Nazuna’s throat. 

A scream had echoed through the studio, causing Shu to jump out of his bed in fear. When Nazuna first arrived there had been screams in the night that woke Shu immediately and despite Nazuna not crying out in a while, Shu’s body was trained to react immediately to his precious doll’s needs. 

He ran out of his room and into Nazuna’s, only finding the blond to be absent. When the shrill cries rang out again, Shu immediately headed into the studio to find Nazuna on the ground holding his own neck, gold ribbon strung around his body. Nazuna’s mannequin had fallen over as well, but absently to the side. 

“Nito!” Shu ran towards him, getting on his knees and taking Nazuna’s shoulders. “Nito what’s wrong? It was merely a nightmare! Look at me!” He yelled, shaking the boy a bit before Nazuna stopped screaming, his hands loosening against his neck.    
  
Red eyes widened again, looking into Shu’s violet eyes that were filled with concern. 

“You…” Nazuna murmured softly, barely enough for Shu to hear. 

“Nito-” Shu managed again before Nazuna jumped up from the ground, pushing Shu onto the floor. He wrapped both his hands in that gold ribbon, wrapping it around Shu’s neck and began to pull. 

“You… You you you!! It’s all your fault!” Nazuna screamed, tears flooding his eyes as Shu choked out, hands moving to grip at the ribbon that was tight around his throat.    
  
“N-Nito, w-what are you saying?!” Shu croaked out, Nazuna’s face scrunched up in an expression that seemed to be on the border of insane and scared.    
  
The blond squeezed harder, tightening his grip as he straddled Shu who’s legs began to kick. Nazuna knew he was never going to escape the feeling of being a prisoner unless he destroyed the master of the dungeon. The owner of the doll - the puppeteer. 

“It’s because of you I’m like this! I don’t- I don’t know how to think for myself anymore, I feel so empty like I’m just a husk! Because of you! You made me into this!” Nazuna screamed, pulling at the ribbon as Shu choked and clawed at the ribbon that was around his neck. Hot tears streamed down Nazuna’s face, dripping onto Shu’s cheek. 

He cried, shaking his head as his eyes darted around the room and then back to Shu’s face in hysterics. Shu didn’t know what Nazuna was looking at, but he could tell it was frightening the boy from the way he shook. To Nazuna he would be seeing more and more mannequins get closer to the two, chanting for Nazuna to _do_ _it._

Shu could only watch with his own wide eyes as Nazuna cried and stared down at him, the grip of the ribbon still tight and suffocating him. The pink-haired boy’s head was starting to get dizzy, his vision blurring as more oxygen was denied into his lungs. Seeing Nazuna in such a state… with so much emotion in his eyes as he sobbed and struggled to keep hold of the ribbon. 

A hand moved up gently, Shu moving to cup Nazuna’s cheek as he stroked it. 

It made Nazuna jump in surprise; he loosened his grip on the ribbon, staring back at Shu in shock as the boy smiled up at him. 

“E-Even when you’re trying to kill me… ah Nito, you’re beautiful. Absolutely  _ magnifique. _ ” Shu managed to say, Nazuna’s hands trembling as the compliment only confused him even more. 

“W-Why would you say something like that?!” Nazuna screamed, becoming absolutely frazzled as his hands clenched around the ribbon, unsure on what to do. 

Shu only grinned, moving to put his hands over Nazuna’s and tightened his hold. 

“It would be an honor to be killed by you… ah Nito, my dear dear Nito… The face you’re making now, you’re truly beautiful.” Shu’s smile had made Nazuna smile as well, the blond shaking his head as he laughed.    
  
“Why… Why are you so weird?!” Nazuna laughed, taking his hands away and letting go of the ribbon. He sat back, holding his knees as he took deep breaths, unable to stop himself from rocking a bit as he tried his best to calm down. 

“I’m sorry… I just - I don’t know what’s happening to me.” Nazuna explained, Shu getting up from the floor as he rubbed his neck. He stared at Nazuna who couldn’t bring himself to look up at Shu, scooting closer to wrap his arms around the other. 

“I haven’t heard your voice in so long, not just your singing but your words. Your thoughts.” Shu murmured, squeezing Nazuna comfortingly before the blond sniffed. Wiping at his eyes, Nazuna leaned into the other’s embrace. 

Nazuna took a moment, calming himself down until he was finally at a point where he felt alright to speak again. This really has been the most he’s said in awhile…It made him realize that he should’ve been talking all along. 

“I was… I was afraid to say anything. I didn’t want to say anything that would make you hate me… but I wasn’t happy either.” Nazuna explained quietly, bringing his knees closer to his face. Shu only moved a hand to stroke Nazuna’s back, doing his best to comfort him. 

“There is nothing you can say or do that would make me hate you, Nito.” Shu replied, Nazuna only snorting and rolling his eyes. 

“I mean, if you’re not mad that I tried to suffocate you just now then I don’t know what could make you hate me.” He half-joked, Shu moving to sit in front of Nazuna and take his hands. 

Shu pressed soft kisses on Nazuna’s knuckles before trailing his lips up the boy’s wrist and then to his arm. 

“I want nothing but your happiness, to be by your side and to serve you, my sweet marionette.” Shu explained, looking up at Nazuna as the blond gave a puzzled expression back. 

“I don’t want to be a doll… I don’t want to be a puppet. I want to be living...” Nazuna explained, finding the root of his desires that he hid back all along. He turned his head, not wanting to see Shu’s reaction to his inner thoughts. To his surprise, Shu moved a hand to tilt Nazuna’s face up, pressing a soft kiss to the boy’s cheek before offering a smile. 

“You are living. You’re a living doll with thoughts and feelings that I’d like for you to express. Perhaps our perceptions of dolls are different, but to me you are not an empty vessel. Nito, you’re filled with so much emotion and brightness. I couldn’t help but be drawn to your light, your beauty. Ah...Nito! Nito Nito Nito~!” The more he spoke Shu got louder and louder, Nazuna frowning before pressing his palm against Shu’s mouth.

“Shut up... You get so loud.” Nazuna huffed before Shu took the hand, pressing a kiss to the boy’s palm. The blond flushed before his eyes met Shu’s. “But… when you say stuff like that it always makes my heart flutter a bit.” 

Shu’s eyes shone brightly, getting excited as he pressed more kisses onto Nazuna’s hand. “Aah~ Then I’ll say it more and more, my beautiful, magnificent Nito! My one true soulmat-” 

Before Shu could finish, Nazuna moved to press their lips together. The blond held onto the other’s shoulders and softly kissed the taller boy, closing his eyes and leaning into the other’s warmth. It had taken Shu by surprise, his eyes still open as he felt dizzier than he did before. His hands scrambled to find some part of Nazuna to hold, finding home against the boy’s waist.    
  
When Nazuna pulled away, he smirked at the other. 

“Speechless?” He asked, Shu grinning before nodding silently in a daze.

“Good. I’ll be the one talking now.” Nazuna added, moving back to press another kiss onto Shu, holding his shoulders softly. 

Maybe it was supposed to be destiny that the two of them would meet in the most radical way. Even if Nazuna had suffered through his own insecurities, maybe it wasn’t so bad to have fallen in love with the artist who had brought this doll to life. 

  
  
  
  



End file.
